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regrets

by meltmouf

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1.
yeah im not a wolf fur coat on a dog skull my chain isnt gold ima fool so i been told ive been getting bread but im slow so it got mold i use to smoke ice but that shit made my feet cold yea that shit made my feet cold got me in my feelings pink hair in a ziplock yeah u remember when u gave me that lock got me in my feelings and now im popping zoloft things were better back then back before i fell off
2.
i just made a rack on some scam shit i spent that shit on nike and unif sometimes i get lonely i got no click its alright tho im sick of that fake shit i just copped a sack of some pure shit finna blow clouds till im melted i fucked up my life and i can't fix it its alright tho im sick of this life shit sick and tired sick and tired sick and tired sick and tired all the time. it's alright. i dont feel like myself anymore i dont feel like getting out of bed im getting bored of that same old shit same old blade pressed against my wrist fuck it ima get it over with ive been up all night just wondering why wondering why, who am i i aint nobody might as well just trade my body for a trip to outer space can't get out this place ima trap man fuck it psychedelics got me in a trip i start seeing shit who the fuck was that who the fuck was this humans look so weird as shit why are we all shaped like this it dont make no sense will i be up for work tomorrow and do i have enough to pay the rent i dont know all i know is gotta show everybody the reason for my existence fuck it i aint got one let this gun show if a instance that it'll be alright, yeah yeah sick and tired sick and tired sick and tired sick and tired all the time. it's alright. i fucked ur boo just to hurt ur feelings next time dont start dumb shit im wasting my life on this dumb shit its alright tho im sick of this life shit i just copped a sack of some pure shit finna blow clouds till im melted i fucked up my life and i cant fix it its alright tho im sick of this life shit
3.
iono off that recursive cursed helix i been dipping for a minute i been fishing for some omens when i close my eyes im schitzing gonna get hooked when i log in refresh my browser redirect got that 402 bad portal but the link is still intact i been living without meaning my boy Jesus spit some light in it that mother void she got me leaning toward a womb to climb back in its dark and wet just like i like it like the inside of an eyelid i can't see shit keep that light off im busy reflecting fractions of my retina spell checking my inflection fractal bounce off ur account when in rome rewind the feast and pause it at that holy moment holy grail synaptic collapse of pleasure pathways rewind my life my seratonin coalesce into my crest a russian nesting doll of crying mothers a peach with rotten pit thats a joke that i dont get some quiet time to sit and think shit got me schized. i got the vision of a wizard im seeing shit but i wont suffer a witch to live. im a dick and im addicted i suck dick for that shit i aint a kid and i aint kidding i kill kids for that shit regrets i got a lot i gotta live with that shit cos when i need it ima get it poppin off on a bitch i need some tina in my veins or a bullet in my brain thats a dream i can believe in thats a price that i can pay id like a car that goes fast and the respect of my friends but some things is out of reach and my patience at an end im just doin what i wanna when i wanna cos i wanna im just doin what i gotta when i gotta cos i gotta im just goin where im goin iono where that is please turn off the tv dont wanna know how it ends. do u think a smaller body feels less pain? do you think a younger heart holds less shame? do you think a shorter life is a brighter flame? do you think anyone will remember my name? iono
4.
words do not mean nothing see who ask u how u been when u got nothing in ur pocket everybody wants something every something cost money awake for a week flipping shit printing counterfits i only lay down on webcam type of busy type shit ive been living like im dying ive been lying like i believe me ive been grinding every night sunken eyes and bloody teeth you say you miss the old me striaghtforward and sweet and u wish i would just stop i wish u would just save urself and cut me off but fuck all that pussy shit i gotta get my guap words do not mean nothing see who ask u how u been when u got nothing in ur pocket everybody wants something every something cost money
5.
aight bro i think im finna head out aight bro i think u needa chill out aight bro i think u needa calm down aight bro i never meant to let u down just kno just kno im a little bit slow just kno just kno way she fuckin goes just kno im broken and im broke bro fuckin way she goes bro i cant vibe w ur friends its ok tho im my own friend i cant get out of my head its ok tho im my own friend always come home lookin asian ok then look into ur eyes and they vacant ok then lackluster fake hustlers everybody think they better than each other she a stunter juul puffer always love her but im never gonna trust her no
6.
stranger sent a pic that day bout 8 racks by his 45 said come on by we gonna have a good time and he was right we talked NA on his porch and smoked wax headed out to the bar before his girl got back ima fuck up so bad that i might die ima fuck up so bad sprout wings and fly ima fuck up so bad that i might die ima fuck up so bad we both kno why cos we're both gonna go to hell anyway we're both gonna go to hell liqor aint shit so we picked up some crys he said he know i would pay him back and we was right again so we posted up in a motel to modify a lightbulb and proofread each others lies about where we were that night he served in the marines and they taught him the best knots to tie off im a little bit lost but somewhere between the armless african children and the repeated declined calls from his girlfriend i offered him head ima fuck up so bad that i might die ima fuck up so bad sprout wings and fly ima fuck up so bad that i might die ima fuck up so bad we both kno why cos we're both gonna go to hell anyway we're both gonna go to hell he put on a trojan and i pulled that shit back off he swore he was clean as if that mattered to me i kept asking him to hit me but he wouldnt. he got tired so we went to buy some rigs off a bum fucked up and shared blood he apologized profusely i just laughed about the rubber

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released February 18, 2019

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meltmouf Las Vegas, Nevada

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